Thursday, December 26, 2013

Forgiveness

Recently, I had an incident where someone I knew was extremely rude to me.  She told me that I did something wrong in an insulting manner. She slammed some papers in front of me, and demanded that I fix what I did. And she did it in front of a group of people. I saw red! How dare she treat me or anybody else like that! The other individuals in the room knew she was rude, and they spoke words of encouragement to me. But I was still fuming!

forgiving others


I wasted a lot of time that day replaying the incident in my mind. I thought about the things I would do to get her back. I thought I’ll never speak to her again, that’ll show her. I thought I’ll tell the boss, then she’ll get in trouble. I thought I’ll tell my co-workers nasty things about her. That will teach her.

In the end, I decided that none of those things would be productive. I decided that the only person who would really suffer through all of this was me. I decided to take that big step, and forgive the individual. Was this easy? No, it took a lot of effort.

First, I had to tell myself, to let go of what happened. I had to do this repeatedly. I had to consciously say to myself think about something different. I had to remind myself that if I keep going through the incident, I’m not really forgiving the person.

Second, I had to tell myself to continue being polite to this person. I had to tell myself, part of forgiving is maintaining a relationship with the individual who has wronged you. I had to say Good Morning to my co-worker. I had to be respectful of her.

While, I can’t say that my co-worker and I have a great relationship, I can say that we are able to work together. She now speaks to me in a much more respectful tone. My other co-workers reported the incident to management, and it was brought up that she had treated other co-workers in a similar fashion. 

Management addressed the situation, and things are better for all of the people in the office.

I was glad that I choose to forgive my co-worker instead of carrying out some crazy retaliatory fantasy.

10 comments:

  1. Great post, Heidi. It is so hard to turn the other cheek and forgive. But you are correct, forgiveness is more for you than the other person. I have a family member that has hurt me deeply and I am working through forgiving her. I probably can't forget what has happened, but I know I need to forgive her in order for me to have peace.
    You are an inspiration. :-)
    Hugs,
    Lisa

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  2. It is very hard to just move on when someone has treated you badly. I don't always manage it and keep fuming about it for weeks. But I will try and do better in future. Happy Holidays.

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  3. I'm glad to hear you were able to move forward and forgive her that picture you included is awesome, it's really about how you move forward from a difficult situation you can choose how you will go forward :)

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  4. Yes forgiveness doesn't always come easy but we do feel better when we forgive those who treat us badly................

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  5. That it awesome. It takes a lot of courage to be the person and forgive first.

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  6. Forgiving is so hard. I think it's about letting go of the idea that people should behave in the way you expect them to, or want them to. But when you do forgive then you can let go of the past and prevent that person from having power over your present moment. It's just one of the hardest things to do though, when someone has hurt you!

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  7. Amazing post, forgiveness is indeed hard. It's worth it in the end though.

    <3
    Harlynn
    www.mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

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  8. True forgiveness is something I think many people struggle with. It's not easy, but it is so freeing! Dropping by to let you know that your post is being featured at this week's Freedom Fridays :) The party goes live at 8:30 pm EST - hope to see you there ♥

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  9. This is the perfect message for me to keep in mind starting this lovely New Year. And we were so glad to chose it as one of our features at this weeks Freedom Fridays:))

    Hugs and thanks so much for sharing

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  10. it is very hard sometimes for one to say I forgive.. this is a great post and topic to talk about and share with everyone.. As for myself.. I think in my life in my heart I have forgiven those who have so wronged me in my life and I have to keep telling myself Yes Dorothy we forgave them, get over it give it to JESUS and move on,,, Your life here is not yours it Belongs to your Father JESUS......... As I am reminded every day to remind myself that...

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