Ever have a conversation with someone, and you disagree with them about something. In fact they want to argue with you. The individual is angry, and they want to take it out on you. They purposefully say things that push your buttons, and you begin to feel a little annoyed. What do you do? Unless, you really want to argue, don’t take the bait! Here are a few ways to deal with someone who is looking for a fight.
1. Recognize what is Going On!
The most important thing you can do is recognize that this person just wants to argue with you. They want you to get an emotional response. And they will often stop at nothing in order to get one. I once worked with someone who always seemed to want to get their way, and he stopped at nothing to get his way. It seemed like he always picked a fight. There was always an argument. Once you recognize that this person is picking a fight purposefully, you are well on your way to diffusing the situation.
2. Be Firm!
At this time it is fine to try to avoid the argument by changing the subject. But there are those who simply will not have that a fight is a must. Next it’s okay to say that you will have to agree to disagree. Here you are simply setting a limit. And you are letting the individual know that you respect them as a person, but that you no longer want to discuss this.
3. Don’t Take the Bait!
If a person continues pushing, you know the person who at this point states just for the record. Don’t take the bait! They are pushing for an emotional response that will probably get you nowhere. At this point remove yourself from the situation. If they are pushing for a fight eventually, no matter how much redirection you provide they will not be satisfied unless they get one. You need to take control, and get out of that conversation. Allow them to have the last word, and go on to doing something else.
Follow these steps, and you can avoid an argument that will get you nowhere!
Music to blog by Ken Colyer’s Canal Street Blues