Sunday, March 8, 2015

Why Did You Ask That?

Have you ever been asked a question that you never want to answer? I always think why did you ask that when someone asks me. I always dread the question do you have kids? My answer is always no, I have cats. You see for years, and I do mean years, individuals followed that question with well why don't you have kids? I always thought to myself, nobody would dream of asking someone why they have kids so why are they asking me why I don't.

The truth is I always felt like individuals were judging me for not having children. And it wasn't a positive judgment either.

You see for all of those years, I decided that it would be more responsible for me not to have children for many reasons. One I wasn't married, and well I felt that I needed to be married to have children. Second, I couldn't afford them. I had untold friends that were unable to make it financially because they made some decisions earlier in their life that turned out to be less than positive. Third, I just wasn't very responsible when I was younger. You really do need to be responsible when you are a parent, at least that's my opinion.

One day I was talking with a friend, and I informed her that I try not to tell people how they should handle situations that have arisen with their children because I don't have kids. It seems kind of judgmental to do that. And she pointed out to me that maybe I should be telling them since I made responsible decisions in my life. It was the first time in my life that someone gave me positive feedback for not having children. I was floored.

So as I said earlier when people ask me do you have kids? I now simply respond with no, I have cats because who are you to judge decisions I've made that were responsible decisions for my life?


  1. I soooo hear you! I had always wanted children, but like you, much of my life I was single (I married MUCH later than most) and I didn't feel I had the financial means to be a single parent. But...I always had a cat. People have no business asking why someone doesn't have children because there are a myriad of reasons that that could be the case!

  2. Oh yeah I so get this, there are times when my daughters have asked me questions like who do I love most,or who do I prefer to be around and I don't want to answer those type of questions